Stay Alive By Staying Out (Demo EP)

by Oh Dae-Su

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09:21
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07:06

about

Written over the course of 3 months, recorded over the course of a week

credits

released 23 April 2013

Please don't pay for this album. It didn't cost us anything.

Thanks to Arianna, Liam, Duncan, and Stuart for lending mics, and Ish for always helping with anything

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Track Name: Solace In Flight
And where the river surged and shook away any fleet that tried to pass
He stepped off of a ledge and plunged into a prayer
Sinking through turbulent air, tumbling toward fearful finality

Mere seconds of opportunity to apologize for a lifetime of wrongs
Before sea and sin flooded the lungs and cleansed away any chance
To amend, to forgive, to forge a new identity

Each string and fiber of his suit forming the sail that sent him spiraling below
With startling sincerity, he recited a collection of hallelujah’s and Hail Mary’s
As his lips stumbled and his tongue fumbled those simple Amen’s

Not one grain of falsehood lined the path he weaved of his past and all its mistakes
Every shred of dignity shed as he admitted to the simplest and the grandest of deceits
Begging for a God he never worshiped to save a soul he never had

Despite the darkness he dove towards, that looming, misunderstood realm of death
There was a certain relief in the great unknown
There was a certain happiness in the release from it all

Totems to an apparition, crumbling monuments to an invisible will

His warm tears stolen as the wind wiped them from his face, discarded into the rain
Those slow streams of joy pouring out his eyes, the glory of death too great to shake
“Forgive, forgive, I've sacrificed everything, even this vessel of flesh and bone!”

Enclosed from it all, he was a changed man; one of confidence and understanding of all that stood ahead
To the onlookers, it was a quiet and violent descent, without discussion or ceremony
To him, falling through the fog, it was a long transition from loss to understanding
(But...)
Sometimes the spectator's quick critique strikes far closer to the vein of truth than the actor's delusions of their own display...

Empyrean light curses with a blemished beam, only illuminating the lonesome corners we've wandered to

Maybe in his moment of flight, a purpose was acknowledged
In that brief time between free fall and asphalt, he may have found faith
(Was it not a smile that graced his face seconds before the cement cushioned its collapse?)

So alike to the young bird fresh from the nest, he flew with a mix of terror and delight fueling every winged beat
Truly untethered, finally at peace with himself in those soaring seconds
(Was it really grief led him to leap off from that ledge?)

Alas, in the moment of collision, that recent divinity was shook from his frame
Kicking and stammering, eyes fluttering as the darkness swarmed the peripherals of sight
(Violent, vicious, would that pain of parting not make anyone a pessimist?)

Everything collapsed, sank into that pit of nihilism that borne his apathy towards it all
Simple truths made themselves apparent; alone, pointless, and fading without purpose

In that brief period between pain and death, his new-found faith failed

A man lay on the concrete, falling into the deepest of sleep
As lost as he ever was
Track Name: Halcyon Dreams
We drank like gods until our coughs were filled with flames
We breathed smoke until our vision clouded with deprivation
We held one another until entire oceans filled with our sweat
We planted both kisses and bruises on each others face
We scrapped away at what little remained of this place

Daydream aspirations, gone with each gust of wind
Like distant stars, shielded by cloud and light

Our imaginary ideals endlessly shifting in the breeze
Crashing waves, dancing leaves, shaking knees

We danced among stars until our feet bled and our ankles broke
We fought battles here until the ground was charred black
We stared at the sun until our retinas burned clear
We ignored decency and stood bare without modesty
We kept what little we had taken from this place
Track Name: Storm
Forward from the mouth of hell
A beast, a demon, of devilish design
Black skies birthed upon its back
Consume their hope and swallow them whole

Accentuate its appetite, open its stomach as it engulfs these seas Forgive nothing, no vanity, no valor

Erect this terror with drunken tales
Spark fear, burrow the idea deeper than the fact
Terrify those who set sail
Destroying their ships in your wake

Eviscerate their foolish pride
Drowning each one let them plummet
Forgive nothing, no vanity, no valor
No more faith, worship, or prayer

Allow no one to rise from these skeletal depths

I sing for comfort
But the words come out hobbled and weak, heartless and hopeless, heavy with guilt
Broken, old vowels that bend and cripple under reality's gravity, bearing my burdens
I await a sign, a symbol, a notion of acknowledgment that this pleading isn't pointless
Instead I'm greeted with an echo, my own desperate vesper returned to me
Like prayers unanswered, like hymns unheard
I am this tower waiting to fall
To burn at the base and tumble into ruin

I sing for comfort
But my voice can't find a melody, no simple song to hold together these soliloquies
A pitchless tune not carried by the wind, only a sad reflected reversal of sound
Jagged noise, the lonely braying of a sheep invisible to both the wolf and the herd
I'll just keep yelling at faceless skies, stuttering from key to key until they answer me
Until this sea reclaims me, until the future doesn't seem so threatening
Maybe I've committed too much time to running this vessel aground

Face to face, against your best attempts
Awaiting a return of my strength, my faltering will fades
Tossed away from the bridge, falling through depthless waves
Every breath a fight, every ounce of air a relief
I survive! I survive!
Track Name: Abetted Ruin
“I choke back our undistinguished blame
like the swelling rivers we ignore
And flood everything behind my tongue in guilt
I hold back our conscious callowness
like the darkening clouds overhead
And shower my conscience with sleepless nights

Leaving the memories like drowned trees stabbing the surface

I've built a dam not meant to last,
A barricade of false promises
Prolonged states of “Just one more day”

I'm slipping,
scrambling, filling the leaks as they spring with fallen branches and discarded pieces of me

Let the enmity sink
down to join our, broken lines and stolen bait, drowning whatever fault I've failed to overcome

It's me that's
fractured the frame, splintered and shattered each column past any semblance of stability


Casting in cursed thoughts like the tangled nets that strip life from your generous smile
This cluttered construct is crumbling against a constant flow of insult and injury

It can't halt the tide

Disquiet is a plague that's spread hinges on my ability to forget
But I have already let the ax fall

And the barrier is coming down with each swing
I've kept this valley barren for too long

The flood will wipe it all away

The anchors drag the bed, desperate to find hold amongst our sunken ideals
Despite the depth, the notion still stands somewhere beneath this lake

I awake to sleep-shivers,
a thousand leagues below where you stand
I won't ever see the ceiling again”