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Stay Alive By Staying Out (Demo EP)

by Oh Dae-Su

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1.
And where the river surged and shook away any fleet that tried to pass He stepped off of a ledge and plunged into a prayer Sinking through turbulent air, tumbling toward fearful finality Mere seconds of opportunity to apologize for a lifetime of wrongs Before sea and sin flooded the lungs and cleansed away any chance To amend, to forgive, to forge a new identity Each string and fiber of his suit forming the sail that sent him spiraling below With startling sincerity, he recited a collection of hallelujah’s and Hail Mary’s As his lips stumbled and his tongue fumbled those simple Amen’s Not one grain of falsehood lined the path he weaved of his past and all its mistakes Every shred of dignity shed as he admitted to the simplest and the grandest of deceits Begging for a God he never worshiped to save a soul he never had Despite the darkness he dove towards, that looming, misunderstood realm of death There was a certain relief in the great unknown There was a certain happiness in the release from it all Totems to an apparition, crumbling monuments to an invisible will His warm tears stolen as the wind wiped them from his face, discarded into the rain Those slow streams of joy pouring out his eyes, the glory of death too great to shake “Forgive, forgive, I've sacrificed everything, even this vessel of flesh and bone!” Enclosed from it all, he was a changed man; one of confidence and understanding of all that stood ahead To the onlookers, it was a quiet and violent descent, without discussion or ceremony To him, falling through the fog, it was a long transition from loss to understanding (But...) Sometimes the spectator's quick critique strikes far closer to the vein of truth than the actor's delusions of their own display... Empyrean light curses with a blemished beam, only illuminating the lonesome corners we've wandered to Maybe in his moment of flight, a purpose was acknowledged In that brief time between free fall and asphalt, he may have found faith (Was it not a smile that graced his face seconds before the cement cushioned its collapse?) So alike to the young bird fresh from the nest, he flew with a mix of terror and delight fueling every winged beat Truly untethered, finally at peace with himself in those soaring seconds (Was it really grief led him to leap off from that ledge?) Alas, in the moment of collision, that recent divinity was shook from his frame Kicking and stammering, eyes fluttering as the darkness swarmed the peripherals of sight (Violent, vicious, would that pain of parting not make anyone a pessimist?) Everything collapsed, sank into that pit of nihilism that borne his apathy towards it all Simple truths made themselves apparent; alone, pointless, and fading without purpose In that brief period between pain and death, his new-found faith failed A man lay on the concrete, falling into the deepest of sleep As lost as he ever was
2.
We drank like gods until our coughs were filled with flames We breathed smoke until our vision clouded with deprivation We held one another until entire oceans filled with our sweat We planted both kisses and bruises on each others face We scrapped away at what little remained of this place Daydream aspirations, gone with each gust of wind Like distant stars, shielded by cloud and light Our imaginary ideals endlessly shifting in the breeze Crashing waves, dancing leaves, shaking knees We danced among stars until our feet bled and our ankles broke We fought battles here until the ground was charred black We stared at the sun until our retinas burned clear We ignored decency and stood bare without modesty We kept what little we had taken from this place
3.
Storm 09:21
Forward from the mouth of hell A beast, a demon, of devilish design Black skies birthed upon its back Consume their hope and swallow them whole Accentuate its appetite, open its stomach as it engulfs these seas Forgive nothing, no vanity, no valor Erect this terror with drunken tales Spark fear, burrow the idea deeper than the fact Terrify those who set sail Destroying their ships in your wake Eviscerate their foolish pride Drowning each one let them plummet Forgive nothing, no vanity, no valor No more faith, worship, or prayer Allow no one to rise from these skeletal depths I sing for comfort But the words come out hobbled and weak, heartless and hopeless, heavy with guilt Broken, old vowels that bend and cripple under reality's gravity, bearing my burdens I await a sign, a symbol, a notion of acknowledgment that this pleading isn't pointless Instead I'm greeted with an echo, my own desperate vesper returned to me Like prayers unanswered, like hymns unheard I am this tower waiting to fall To burn at the base and tumble into ruin I sing for comfort But my voice can't find a melody, no simple song to hold together these soliloquies A pitchless tune not carried by the wind, only a sad reflected reversal of sound Jagged noise, the lonely braying of a sheep invisible to both the wolf and the herd I'll just keep yelling at faceless skies, stuttering from key to key until they answer me Until this sea reclaims me, until the future doesn't seem so threatening Maybe I've committed too much time to running this vessel aground Face to face, against your best attempts Awaiting a return of my strength, my faltering will fades Tossed away from the bridge, falling through depthless waves Every breath a fight, every ounce of air a relief I survive! I survive!
4.
Abetted Ruin 07:06
“I choke back our undistinguished blame like the swelling rivers we ignore And flood everything behind my tongue in guilt I hold back our conscious callowness like the darkening clouds overhead And shower my conscience with sleepless nights Leaving the memories like drowned trees stabbing the surface I've built a dam not meant to last, A barricade of false promises Prolonged states of “Just one more day” I'm slipping, scrambling, filling the leaks as they spring with fallen branches and discarded pieces of me Let the enmity sink down to join our, broken lines and stolen bait, drowning whatever fault I've failed to overcome It's me that's fractured the frame, splintered and shattered each column past any semblance of stability Casting in cursed thoughts like the tangled nets that strip life from your generous smile This cluttered construct is crumbling against a constant flow of insult and injury It can't halt the tide Disquiet is a plague that's spread hinges on my ability to forget But I have already let the ax fall And the barrier is coming down with each swing I've kept this valley barren for too long The flood will wipe it all away The anchors drag the bed, desperate to find hold amongst our sunken ideals Despite the depth, the notion still stands somewhere beneath this lake I awake to sleep-shivers, a thousand leagues below where you stand I won't ever see the ceiling again”

about

Written over the course of 3 months, recorded over the course of a week

credits

released April 23, 2013

Please don't pay for this album. It didn't cost us anything.

Thanks to Arianna, Liam, Duncan, and Stuart for lending mics, and Ish for always helping with anything

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about

Oh Dae-Su Benicia, California

Punk from East Bay

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