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lyrics

And where the river surged and shook away any fleet that tried to pass
He stepped off of a ledge and plunged into a prayer
Sinking through turbulent air, tumbling toward fearful finality

Mere seconds of opportunity to apologize for a lifetime of wrongs
Before sea and sin flooded the lungs and cleansed away any chance
To amend, to forgive, to forge a new identity

Each string and fiber of his suit forming the sail that sent him spiraling below
With startling sincerity, he recited a collection of hallelujah’s and Hail Mary’s
As his lips stumbled and his tongue fumbled those simple Amen’s

Not one grain of falsehood lined the path he weaved of his past and all its mistakes
Every shred of dignity shed as he admitted to the simplest and the grandest of deceits
Begging for a God he never worshiped to save a soul he never had

Despite the darkness he dove towards, that looming, misunderstood realm of death
There was a certain relief in the great unknown
There was a certain happiness in the release from it all

Totems to an apparition, crumbling monuments to an invisible will

His warm tears stolen as the wind wiped them from his face, discarded into the rain
Those slow streams of joy pouring out his eyes, the glory of death too great to shake
“Forgive, forgive, I've sacrificed everything, even this vessel of flesh and bone!”

Enclosed from it all, he was a changed man; one of confidence and understanding of all that stood ahead
To the onlookers, it was a quiet and violent descent, without discussion or ceremony
To him, falling through the fog, it was a long transition from loss to understanding
(But...)
Sometimes the spectator's quick critique strikes far closer to the vein of truth than the actor's delusions of their own display...

Empyrean light curses with a blemished beam, only illuminating the lonesome corners we've wandered to

Maybe in his moment of flight, a purpose was acknowledged
In that brief time between free fall and asphalt, he may have found faith
(Was it not a smile that graced his face seconds before the cement cushioned its collapse?)

So alike to the young bird fresh from the nest, he flew with a mix of terror and delight fueling every winged beat
Truly untethered, finally at peace with himself in those soaring seconds
(Was it really grief led him to leap off from that ledge?)

Alas, in the moment of collision, that recent divinity was shook from his frame
Kicking and stammering, eyes fluttering as the darkness swarmed the peripherals of sight
(Violent, vicious, would that pain of parting not make anyone a pessimist?)

Everything collapsed, sank into that pit of nihilism that borne his apathy towards it all
Simple truths made themselves apparent; alone, pointless, and fading without purpose

In that brief period between pain and death, his new-found faith failed

A man lay on the concrete, falling into the deepest of sleep
As lost as he ever was

credits

from Stay Alive By Staying Out (Demo EP), released April 23, 2013

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Oh Dae-Su Benicia, California

Punk from East Bay

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